I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
