I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
