hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
