I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
