We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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