just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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