apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i believe in u and ur pee
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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