hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
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No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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