Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
