just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
