This is not my ceiling
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
