I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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