had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
