forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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