Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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