When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize