Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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