Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
