ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Houston, we have a blender
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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