don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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