Just cropdusted the office
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
