wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
