the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
