yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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