Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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