she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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