How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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