Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
