I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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