If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
