i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
