I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
