Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
this boner is exhausting
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
