is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
