Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
