Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
