Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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