Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
