i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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