I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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