Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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