Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
