I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
