why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
