I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
