what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you traded sex for a burrito?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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