I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
