there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
