i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
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Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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