found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
People in love make me want to vomit
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
