sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
