I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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