im having a threesome with these popsicles
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
