Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
