I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize