i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
