My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
why do cheetos always look like penises
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize