i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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