Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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