Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
