last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Someone signed my nipple.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
