Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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