im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
