yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i was born a porn star she said
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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