New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
even my farts smell like vagina
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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